i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have tasted many bathrooms
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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