So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We are two peas in an std pod
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
