so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
