dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Drunk is not a location!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize