other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize