Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
