I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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