he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize