I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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