oh god the rape fog is back!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
