id be glad to
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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