dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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