Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
