just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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