My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
