whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
