I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
