i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
