Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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