Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
