idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry about my life...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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