Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
