No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
