Can i not drive my cunt home
She announced her abortion via fbk
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
