I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I smell stomach acid.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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