i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my being single is dangerous.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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