maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
