I feel great
I just peed on a car
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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