i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
