butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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