Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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