just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she looked like the before picture.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got inside last night via doggy door
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
