the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
