If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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