I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize