ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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