i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
