If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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