I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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