Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
