I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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