Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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