My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
