when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
