i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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