I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
