So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
