Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Randomize
