I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
