He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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