just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
do nipples grow back?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
