my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
