So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize