Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
