As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i believe in u and ur pee
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
