.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We have started to decorate penises.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
