You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
