So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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