Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize