if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So here I am, sexting at work.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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