My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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